Recession Jalopnik

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 01/02/2019 at 23:27 • Filed to: One of those uhhh rant things.

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I must be a masochist because I read every article pertaining to FP’s rather absolutist and sour theme day.

The same entity that reviews — and often re-reviews — 6-figure vehicles that 97% of their readers cannot afford, and 2.9% choose not to buy, begins to bring up the “good old days,” which if I recall are “ days” they have scoffed at consistently, with basic interiors, ancient motors, and lowly 5-speed automatics.

Other implications included :

- a recession is definitely coming and the sky is falling

- auto loans are stupid, but no offense to coworker Tom McParland

- why buy anything ever, it’s just going to lose value

- people are gonna be sorry when gas prices go up! Wait, a CX-5 gets 31 mpgs on the highway? Well that doesn’t support my argument. Oh wait, it would take over a decade for a financed CPO Prius V to pay for itself in gas savings if I get rid of my reliable and paid for Chevy even if gas was $5 a gallon ? Well... Well... !!!

- compact cars are gonna make a comeback!!! You’ll see!

This doesn’t even cover the elephant in the room of these fine folks self-identifying as economic experts. That said, there is plenty of reason to be cynical about the future. But there are certainly degrees of cynicism that were probably a bit more reasonable. But I have to give them credit: I did click all the things. It sparked good discussions. Why don’t they post more editorials, instead of car crash videos and whether Elon Musk is high or not?

And of course, this campaign lasted for all of one day. Today we’re back to multiple Tesla stories (tow video was 100% bait, both in gif and lede), a Supra story ($70k is affordable, right? ), and a used Aston Martin.

Pickup at a jobsite from today for your time.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:34

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Something is going on at GMG, seems like an uptick in departures in the last week or two.

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:36

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Agreed on all counts.

I skipped everything today, except for David Tracy's article.

promoted by the color red > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:38

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You guys read the front page? I just let my coworker post the good ones in slack and watch him & the hardcore, outspoken libertarian duke it out.

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:41

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Don’t forget the BaT Supra. Which as I pointed out to the writer, hit $90k and is going to go past it. I suspect it will hit six digits.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:41

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I miss optimism. But it's so much edgier to be cynical and sarcastic.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/02/2019 at 23:43

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Yeah when I read the "preview" post of Patrick George, I was like, "Oh, sounds like you're all gonna lose your jobs?"

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:44

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When I was shadowbanned/banned by one of the bloggers (I mean journalists lolol) , I just walked away, cut the cord. No regrets. I am sure it is a lot more Youtube-y now in the comments.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks 01/02/2019 at 23:45

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BaT is both evil and stupid. A 2001 IS 300 automatic sedan 90k miles with various imperfections sold on there for 9k. Nine!!! It’s the most common configuration of the entire generation!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > fintail 01/02/2019 at 23:48

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Comments aren't terrible -- except when someone posts they like their car and about 30 swoop in and shit on the guy. One fella proudly posted his S195 V6 Mustang... Most liked comments in the thread we're the people talking down to him. Ugh.

Maxima Speed > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:48

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Yeah FP is a joke. I stopped reading most of it  a while ago.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > shop-teacher 01/02/2019 at 23:49

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I can't handle when he posts pictures of his rental property. I just want to save him from himself...

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:50

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I skim it but I wince when I read Tracy’s. Half his vehicles should be parted out or crushed and certainly shouldn’t go through some janky  rushed repair jobs so he can get some clicks and the occasional “good job!”. His road trips endanger others and himself and his borderline hoarding is unhealthy.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 01/02/2019 at 23:52

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His are especially troubling. Also his vehicles being unreliable and dangerous are pretty much his shtick. Like I could never be like, "Ohhhh I hope my Pontiac Vibe makes it to Salt Lake City!!! Aaaaaand we're there. Hmm... Not a whole lot a views dammit."

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/02/2019 at 23:53

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So, if we are coming into a reccession, do you think I should invest heavily in a Toyota rich portfolio?

Seems like they are the automotive equivalent of gold. I looked at 4Runners the other day and was like $30K for 300,000kms?

WHAT!!?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/02/2019 at 23:57

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You don't need a Toyota, you've got that Ram

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 00:02

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But he’s an engineer! He knows things about stuff! Like how to be “that guy” the neighbors talk about and soak your cloths in oil. But hey he's figured how to ruin a perfectly good dishwasher by trying to clean a diff in it.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 01/03/2019 at 00:03

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I guess we all have our own K W E R K S

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 00:16

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I do too. I met him about a year and a half ago, and we talked for about an hour. He’s a super nice guy, which makes me want to save him from himself even more.

I’m tempted to offer him $20 for that worthless rusted out XJ , and Rallycross that until the unibody breaks in half. Although the floor is so gone, and I'm so fat, I'd probably just fall through the floor the first time I sat in it. OK, scratch that idea.

Future Heap Owner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 00:37

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FP? Y’all know Stef took the buyout, right?

His Stigness > Spaceball-Two 01/03/2019 at 00:59

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Engineers are the absolute worst customers/DIYers. They think they know everything, so everything they do is perfect, and I, the professional technician, is doing it wrong. Here, let me show you. No, really, RTV over a silicone gasket is great. Trust me, I’m an engineer.

Maybe I could have been an engineer if I had paid attention in math. But, probably not. I am just good at auto repair and diagnosis. I don’t pretend to be an engineer. Engineers shouldn’t pretend to be repair technicians.

Terra > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 01:00

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100% correct, and also described my actions. Too bad I don’t also have a photo to share / pallet cleanse.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Future Heap Owner 01/03/2019 at 01:03

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She told me on here that she wish that she had not left... 

Just Jeepin' > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 01:24

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I wasted about a half hour arguing with another commenter a few days ago who insisted there’s no way a Tesla could pull a truck out of the charging area. “I have a Bachelors in physics” was his strongest argument.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 02:17

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Here’s a really good short article that slightly overlaps with a few things you mentioned

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.revzilla.com/common-tread/why-motorcycle-journalism-isnt-journalism&ved=2ahUKEwjZlp_WiNHfAhUK658KHXJPC2kQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3u_aVpO_c6gjKmLLLda0Zl

promoted by the color red > His Stigness 01/03/2019 at 04:07

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It was a major reality check when I got out of school to see what I actually knew vs. what I thought I knew. More shocking is how many people who thought their $$$ degrees meant their shit didn’t stink. A former boss actually told me that while ordering us to pound our fists on t he table...

As an engineer, I like to think there’s much I have to learn about auto repair and engineering, as I’ve discovered wrenching on an old Volvo. It also means I can direct people to a qualified professional instead of diagnosing their broken cars over the internet.

promoted by the color red > Spaceball-Two 01/03/2019 at 04:10

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David Tracy actually called me out on Reddit for this : he doesn’t half-ass the mechanical rebuilds, which is reassuring, but he considers rust repairs & aesthetics as things he’s not concerned with. Make of that what you will. 

Derpwagon > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 04:51

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I read jalopnik, but spend way more time checking oppo these days. Most of the articles are bland, most of the authors are usually irritating, and I get real tired of the trump-isms thrown in to so many articles. It’s obnoxious enough to hear them in general, I don’t need to read about how something is Very Bad on a non-political car post. Sad! No, it’s annoying. I feel like either they’re required to regurgitate this shit, or they used it “ironically” so many times they do it without thinking now.

Some of the long-form articles have been genuinely excellent writing (even  from Orlove which surprised me), but the overwhelming majority is just... drivel.

Derpwagon > Derpwagon 01/03/2019 at 04:52

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God damn Google keyboard. Even, not enev. And I can't edit. 

adamftw > Spaceball-Two 01/03/2019 at 07:02

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Man, I thought I was the only one. I’ve done some half-assed shit in my day but I feel a whole lot better about the stuff I’ve done when I see what he’s doing.

adamftw > His Stigness 01/03/2019 at 07:03

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this times a billion.

adamftw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 07:04

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I cannot believe that his landlord allows the shit he does to that place... Has to be a pretty bad neighborhood.

adamftw > fintail 01/03/2019 at 07:07

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That’s a thing?  That must be what happened to my account.. Post here just fine but it doesn’t work on the FP.

Khalbali > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 07:22

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They’ re FEATURES.

fintail > adamftw 01/03/2019 at 09:25

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Yep. You can be permagreyed so you never leave the greys, or even ghosted, where your posts don’t appear at all. Sometimes it is a Kinja error , but the thin-skinned bloggers also like to use it when their feelings are hurt.

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 09:26

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Sounds...youtube-y.

benjrblant > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/03/2019 at 11:35

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I don’t like to keep ragging on Jalopnik because 1) we wouldn’t have oppo without them and 2) it gets old, but damn it’s fallen a long way.

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > His Stigness 01/04/2019 at 14:06

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As an engineer I completely agree with this. Sure, in theory I know about some stuff, but I’d rather have a professional fix my car (or build something etc), as I’d probably screw it up anyway . I sincerely apologise for other engineers

His Stigness > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer 01/04/2019 at 14:37

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I wish I had engineer customers like you. I probably have, but because they don't tell me what they do I don't know they're a good engineer.